Author Topic: D&D Funny Quotes Thread  (Read 989372 times)

Dog-O-Tron 5000v4.1

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7300 on: January 06, 2019, 09:43:47 AM »
+2
Quote from: KillHour
I fell down the stairs a couple months ago and sprained my ankle so bad it was the size of a baseball. It hurt so bad, I put a dent in the bead board wall with my fist while writhing in pain. I iced that sucker, wrapped it tight as I could, had my mom drive over with half a bottle of leftover and probably expired Codeine tablets and pounded about 6 of the fuckers (I have a really high tolerance to pain meds). At one point, I started punching myself in the head to distract myself from how bad it hurt.

I STILL didn't go to the hospital, because my deductible is like $6k. I'm decidedly not poor, but who the fuck can afford that? I'm lucky as shit it seemed to heal okay.

bonus video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDHhq4Pz9qU

WOW, you pounded 6 of those fucking codiene tablents (because you have a really high tolerance to meds)? You're SUCH a bad ass. :allears:

:rolleyes:

Also I don't think this guy understands how deductibles and co-pays work. Hell, maybe I don't, but in those rare times I go to the doctor I still don't pay for the entire visit/treatment even though I have a deductible.

:jesse:

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7301 on: January 06, 2019, 10:07:43 AM »
+7
He probably thinks every time you go to the doctor you have to pay 6,000 dollars.

Sprained ankle - 6,000
Sinus infection - 6,000
Hemorroid treatment - 6,000


Slacktivist

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7302 on: January 06, 2019, 10:17:38 AM »
+7
If he's like half the former neets I know he lives paycheck to paycheck because he spends all money past his bills on endless nerd hobbies. If he actually knows how his deductible works he doesn't have more than two digits in his bank account. Goons who become adults still hate capitalism and scream about UBI and MFA because they set themselves up to be wiped out if literally anything goes wrong.

Have 6 month's salary as back up? Do you know how much vidya I could buy with that money???

David Mushroom Hedgehogstein

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7303 on: January 06, 2019, 03:12:01 PM »
+1
Pop quiz! Guess which sadbrains D&D poster this is
Quote
I feel a bit bad, as I actually had a bit of good news this morning, and that as the DWP has graciously allowed me to live until 2024, and renewed my PIP. Not only that, I've been upgraded to enhanced rate for care, and have £820 of back pay from June, the date when I had to reapply. I haven't been able to stop crying or shaking, or smiling since the brown envelope hit my doormat. Maybe I'll be able to sleep more than 2 hours in a row now... It's been 6 months of limbo and living in stress.

I sense the neurotic mess of a kike blended with the utter uselessness of a nigger. It must be our very own Koalas March!
Nope, it noted cretin Fuctifino of 'I'm not paying my council tax' fame.


  [L.N.E]Giblets [22|Dec 10:40 AM]:   hey mushroom remember that day we were strugging and dog-o was like I'M GONNA PULL THE FUCKIN' PLUG and we both went "do it" and he just kinda limped out that was a good day and I guess what I'm saying is, well, we've not always seen eye to eye but I think our emotional bond is way deeper and stronger than any old nonsense about ideology or my low testosterone or your ridiculous handsomeness and wit and, well, it's long overdue, but David Mushroom Hedgehogstein, will you marry me?

Bitter Weirdo

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7304 on: January 06, 2019, 05:33:35 PM »
+2
Pop quiz! Guess which sadbrains D&D poster this is
Quote
I feel a bit bad, as I actually had a bit of good news this morning, and that as the DWP has graciously allowed me to live until 2024, and renewed my PIP. Not only that, I've been upgraded to enhanced rate for care, and have £820 of back pay from June, the date when I had to reapply. I haven't been able to stop crying or shaking, or smiling since the brown envelope hit my doormat. Maybe I'll be able to sleep more than 2 hours in a row now... It's been 6 months of limbo and living in stress.

I sense the neurotic mess of a kike blended with the utter uselessness of a nigger. It must be our very own Koalas March!
Nope, it noted cretin Fuctifino of 'I'm not paying my council tax' fame.

Wasn't that guy legit crippled and stuck in a wheelchair?

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7305 on: January 07, 2019, 08:09:17 AM »
+9
No that's Franzo

blasting_asshole

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7306 on: January 07, 2019, 08:38:41 AM »
+23
Last night, I stubbed my toe while going to the bathroom, in the middle of the night. The pain was so bad, I put my fist through the bathroom mirror, just to distract myself from the pain.

I downed about 6 percocets and smoked 2 blunts, instead of going to the hospital and paying 6 gorillion dollars for urgent care. Now, here I am crying and screaming atop a pile of broken glass with seamen all over my chest, thanks to this shitty country's healthcare practices and a president who is literally worse than literal Hitler.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2019, 08:42:05 AM by blasting_asshole »

Bitter Weirdo

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7307 on: January 07, 2019, 02:44:07 PM »
+3
Last night, I stubbed my toe while going to the bathroom, in the middle of the night. The pain was so bad, I put my fist through the bathroom mirror, just to distract myself from the pain.

I downed about 6 percocets and smoked 2 blunts, instead of going to the hospital and paying 6 gorillion dollars for urgent care. Now, here I am crying and screaming atop a pile of broken glass with seamen all over my chest, thanks to this shitty country's healthcare practices and a president who is literally worse than literal Hitler.

same

asip

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7308 on: January 07, 2019, 04:21:20 PM »
+16
I nearly hit my head getting into my car but missed it. "Not this time kikes!" I said in relief.

Reeeeeeee

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7309 on: January 07, 2019, 06:46:06 PM »
+11
crying and screaming atop a pile of broken glass with seamen all over my chest

Achievement trophy unlocked

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7310 on: January 08, 2019, 07:31:28 PM »
+13
Quote from: Groovelord Neato
it can't be overstated how fucked up it is the networks are airing this. trump and the gop drove someone to murder 11 jews in their house of worship and they're just gonna let him spew more of the same garbage.

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7311 on: January 16, 2019, 02:39:07 AM »
+7
yospos rather than d&d but same goons for sure:

Quote from: SRQ" post="491697148
Shit I wish had known about this place then. The highlight of my academic career was angrily shouting down a mens rights advocate who was 'arguing' that he was correct to refuse to hire women for a construction job because he was actually protecting them. My argument was really easy and was basically "you don't have that right dipshit" and I pointed out the professor of our class was a woman.

Later a 7 foot tall man that looked like he could snap me in half approached me in the hallway and shook my hand and commended me on my debate skills. That was the strangest day of my life and I wish I capitalized on it more.

enjoy da anecdote, I'll definitely have Stupid Techie Opinions to share in the future I see a lot on discord. Especially dumbasses sheltered from the effects of certain things enjoying playing devils advocate or "both sides" nonsense.

The Watcher

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7312 on: January 16, 2019, 06:48:55 AM »
+4
yospos rather than d&d but same goons for sure:

Quote from: SRQ" post="491697148
Shit I wish had known about this place then. The highlight of my academic career was angrily shouting down a mens rights advocate who was 'arguing' that he was correct to refuse to hire women for a construction job because he was actually protecting them. My argument was really easy and was basically "you don't have that right dipshit" and I pointed out the professor of our class was a woman.

Later a 7 foot tall man that looked like he could snap me in half approached me in the hallway and shook my hand and commended me on my debate skills. That was the strangest day of my life and I wish I capitalized on it more.

enjoy da anecdote, I'll definitely have Stupid Techie Opinions to share in the future I see a lot on discord. Especially dumbasses sheltered from the effects of certain things enjoying playing devils advocate or "both sides" nonsense.
And the everyone stood up and clapped.txt
His name was Harry Anderson

J Dog

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7313 on: January 16, 2019, 08:58:17 AM »
+9
Quote from: SRQ" post="491697148
My argument was really easy and was basically "you don't have that right dipshit" and I pointed out the professor of our class was a woman.

So his response was manically shouting "nuh-uh" and pointing to a sympathetic authority figure.

Give this guy a show on CNN.

a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7314 on: January 16, 2019, 09:34:40 AM »
+5
yospos rather than d&d but same goons for sure:

Quote from: SRQ" post="491697148
Shit I wish had known about this place then. The highlight of my academic career was angrily shouting down a mens rights advocate who was 'arguing' that he was correct to refuse to hire women for a construction job because he was actually protecting them. My argument was really easy and was basically "you don't have that right dipshit" and I pointed out the professor of our class was a woman.

Later a 7 foot tall man that looked like he could snap me in half approached me in the hallway and shook my hand and commended me on my debate skills. That was the strangest day of my life and I wish I capitalized on it more.

enjoy da anecdote, I'll definitely have Stupid Techie Opinions to share in the future I see a lot on discord. Especially dumbasses sheltered from the effects of certain things enjoying playing devils advocate or "both sides" nonsense.

7 foot tall people tend to not be very strong or muscular. It's the fucking 5 foot 1 manlets with something to prove you have to watch out for.

MY FURSONOUNS

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7315 on: January 16, 2019, 09:48:46 AM »
+1
he didn't say he was muscular, just that the goon manlet thought he could snap him in half
Quote from: Aleph Null
Four months on hormones and I swear that my crotch sweat smells different.

blasting_asshole

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7316 on: January 16, 2019, 09:50:33 AM »
+11
If a woman can be a liberal arts professor, who are you to say she can't also be a construction worker?!

a torrent of piss

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7317 on: January 16, 2019, 09:55:00 AM »
+9
If a woman can be a liberal arts professor, who are you to say she can't also be a construction worker?!
Florida Bridge

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7318 on: January 16, 2019, 10:42:05 AM »
+6
If that's a thing that actually happened in any form, I think the multiple arguments he's mis-remembering (possibly deliberately) or failing to understand are the old "if women get paid XX¢ for every $1 a man makes, why aren't there more companies that only hire women to save money?" and "why aren't there more female construction workers/garbagewomen/coal miners/arctic crab fisherwomen if the gals really want full equality in hiring?".
Quote from: George Lincoln Rockwell
The Conservatives have a slogan which I think is despicable and defeatist: "It's better to be dead than red." And the Commies and Liberals have a slogan which is even worse, it's treason, they say: "It's better to be red than dead." We say this: "You don't have to be Red and you don't have to be Dead. Not dead. Not Red. Dead Reds"


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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7319 on: January 16, 2019, 11:56:36 AM »
+4
I'm sure that guy totally ignored the most obvious argument of "the typical woman will struggle lifting a 50lb object while any manlet could easily do it".

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7320 on: January 18, 2019, 05:25:31 AM »
+11
The paywall is down so here's your Koala's March update.

Britta's completely manic. Claiming her grandma is Catholic, claiming that she had an abortion when she was younger, claiming she proudly educated her bigoted family about her abortion, claiming that her grandpa was a pedophile, saying that she would murder her grandma if it would usher in utopia and she's replaced using sassy nigger gifs with 😂😂😂

Oh KM also had a multi page argument about how Ariana Grande is the worst person on Earth because she's stealing black culture.

Quote from: Koala's March
Why don't you just like.. listen to poc when we say its not ok to cosplay as us while we are currently being oppressed?

Brittany's being oppressed by her cancer riddled Jewish grandmother who's paying for everything and crazy coalburning mom who keeps taking away her car keys 🙉🙈🙉

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7321 on: January 18, 2019, 06:27:26 AM »
+4
Isn't she only half black?

J Dog

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7322 on: January 18, 2019, 07:14:17 AM »
+6
Isn't she only half black?

She's an octoroon who probably had to overcompensate in high school to fit in.  Years of living a lie combined with all the SJW stuff broke her feeble brain, and now she thinks she's the blackest woman alive.

Aran

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7323 on: January 18, 2019, 07:18:19 AM »
+6
Isn't she only half black?

Less than half, and she lives in a sub-McMansion in the suburbs with a convertible in the driveway.

Jim Acostas Impotent Rage

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Re: D&D Funny Quotes Thread
« Reply #7324 on: January 18, 2019, 08:10:07 AM »
+5
Brain so broke she got woke  :lolno: