Author Topic: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)  (Read 243078 times)

Rocket

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3000 on: February 24, 2019, 12:15:33 PM »
+1
Every black person I knows likes watermelon and fried chicken.  But so do I. So maybe I'm black. Let's look at my post history and see if this theory holds true.
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Kobe Buffalomeat

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3001 on: February 24, 2019, 12:46:57 PM »
+3
https://verysmartbrothas.theroot.com/i-was-melon-shamed-don-t-let-it-happen-to-you-1819633727

Quote
For me, the standout was a delicious-looking watermelon salad with feta cheese and basil. I’m fairly sure mixing watermelon with cheese violates a biblical law in the book of Deuteronomy—maybe the chef was a “New Testament-only” type of person.

At any rate, I grabbed a scoopful of the salad for my plate and headed to introduce myself to the only other black doctor in the room (we black gastro doctors tend to be pretty rare). We exchanged names and briefly chatted about our chosen profession. The conversation eventually became slightly awkward because I noticed her repeatedly staring at my plate.

“I know you’re not going to eat that watermelon salad,” she said. I chuckled, thinking that she was a watermelon purist merely expressing her disdain toward combining watermelon with feta cheese and basil. I channeled Barack Obama from that episode of Check Please and confidently explained that the saltiness of the feta balances the watermelon’s sweetness and the basil adds a touch of earthiness. She replied,“We’re in ‘mixed company.’ You really should think twice about eating watermelon.”

I thought once, looked her in her eyes, took another bite and chewed it as slowly as possible, savoring all of the flavor. I wouldn’t “repeal and replace” my watermelon salad, so she angrily walked away; she might as well have been chanting “shame” like they did to Cersei in Game of Thrones.

After she left, I paused for two seconds and internally went through the seven stages of grief (shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression and acceptance/hope) all at once. I was mostly shocked that she melon-shamed me, and in denial that we are still held hostage by the vestiges of America’s racial iconography.

 :eminem:
"Gentlemen don't like violence but love the violence of words. Prepare for word torture! I'm full of dangerous phrases that should be censored!"

Bitter Weirdo

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3002 on: February 24, 2019, 09:00:01 PM »
+3
Every black person I knows likes watermelon and fried chicken.  But so do I. So maybe I'm black. Let's look at my post history and see if this theory holds true.

You're a single parent as well, no?  :adam: On the other hand you're employed so.... :umberto:

Rocket

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3003 on: February 25, 2019, 11:42:09 AM »
+3
Every black person I knows likes watermelon and fried chicken.  But so do I. So maybe I'm black. Let's look at my post history and see if this theory holds true.

You're a single parent as well, no?  :adam: On the other hand you're employed so.... :umberto:
Hmm.... this makes me ponder my ethnicity, gender and sexual orientation!  :evola:
Yes, that is me in court with my enormous penis.


Aran

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3004 on: February 25, 2019, 01:08:53 PM »
+1
Frankly I'm wary of anyone who doesn't like watermelon. Who doesn't like watermelon? Freaks, that's who.

Rocket

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3005 on: February 25, 2019, 02:25:38 PM »
+3
 :ocasio:
Yes, that is me in court with my enormous penis.


Rocket

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3006 on: February 26, 2019, 11:52:56 AM »
+4
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLtU9xnwJx8" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLtU9xnwJx8</a>
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Kobe Buffalomeat

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3007 on: February 26, 2019, 01:50:13 PM »
+4


State of Oregon officially dumber than Georgia nogs working for their State Revenue Department.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYnXjG_D2Rc" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYnXjG_D2Rc</a>
"Gentlemen don't like violence but love the violence of words. Prepare for word torture! I'm full of dangerous phrases that should be censored!"

Rocket

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3008 on: February 26, 2019, 01:59:37 PM »
+2


State of Oregon officially dumber than Georgia nogs working for their State Revenue Department.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYnXjG_D2Rc" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYnXjG_D2Rc</a>
She was caught when she lost her credit card and applied for a replacement. Holy crap. I don't know a lot about international banking; what is the process for putting all that into a Swiss account? I imagine that it will be reviewed by the Feds if it's moved out of the country too quickly.
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blasting_asshole

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3009 on: March 01, 2019, 05:18:32 PM »
+4
Got another shuckin n jibin in skoo vid...


<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mESSfbRWJzk" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mESSfbRWJzk</a>

GameDev Grade Dildo

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3010 on: March 02, 2019, 04:38:22 AM »
+7
I honestly believe at least half of the Root staff are  :holocaust: larping as  :friedchicken:

I mean there's an article about being "watermelon-shamed" at some fancy party that is basically stdh.txt that would have come out of any college creative writing course from some (((white))) imagining what it would be like to be in the shoes of the oh-so oppressed POCS.

https://verysmartbrothas.theroot.com/i-was-melon-shamed-don-t-let-it-happen-to-you-1819633727
Quote
I’m fairly sure mixing watermelon with cheese violates a biblical law in the book of Deuteronomy—maybe the chef was a “New Testament-only” type of person.

Yes, this is a totally natural thought to go through the head of a secular Black® man attending a secular event.

Rocket

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3011 on: March 05, 2019, 06:08:26 PM »
-3
Red-pilled black folks throwing off the Democrat's chains.


<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twIkmpeqycc" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twIkmpeqycc</a>
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As a white male I

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3012 on: March 06, 2019, 04:09:28 AM »
+7
Muh baste black man

The Watcher

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3013 on: March 06, 2019, 06:44:12 AM »
+2
Muh baste black man
Stone Toss made a good comic on this
His name was Harry Anderson

Dr. Hatchet-Wound

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3014 on: March 11, 2019, 09:44:50 PM »
+6
R2-DINDU


Hitlorr The Obniggerator

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Re: Clayton Bigsby's Front Porch (the place for discussin' colored folks)
« Reply #3015 on: March 12, 2019, 06:01:36 PM »
+8
R2-DINDU



lmfao

now i'm picturing him going "WAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOO" as a cop tasers him in the back